DIVORCE

If you are reading this, one can surmise that things aren't good. It's important to understand how you got here, and what divorce means before proceeding.

How long have you been married?

The length of a relationship has a lot to do with reasons for wanting to split. Understanding the difference between the real and fantasy relationship (a core component of couples therapy) is essential before deciding how to proceed.

Is this the first time you and/or your spouse are seriously considering divorce?

Do you fight until one of you threatens to leave? If so, your relationship may be too centered on issues of abandonment, intimacy, or tolerance/intolerance of closeness. Again, Couples therapy can help.

What's different?

Infidelity, illness, a child, a move, or financial pressures are some of the major stressors that can push a relationship to the brink. It's important to learn how to deal with the pressures of life, and how to improve communication to help repair the damage.

Is there hope of reconciliation?

If you are separated, or considering separation, you need to look inside yourself and determine if you still have hope. Couples therapy can help with separation issues or reconciliation, however, if you have already drifted too far apart you may benefit more from individual psychotherapy.

Do you have children?

Divorce is painful, but divorce with children can be even more complicated and difficult. Many people rely on family members and attorneys to advise them regarding custody issues and planning for their children's care. This may not be ideal. Family members and attorneys have their own agendas regarding these issues. It's important to put your children first.

Divorce is rarely the best option when you have children under twelve but sometimes it's the only option. If that's the case, how can you put your children first? How can you build a working relationship with an estranged spouse? How can you work to heal the trust, so you can both be more effective as parents?

Tips for therapy on divorce related issues

You need to establish an agenda- who is attending? Is the goal reconciliation or mediation?

Couples Therapy is a very cost-effective choice. Even if it doesn't save this relationship, you get to keep the knowledge and use it in the future.

Think of it as constructive criticism-divorce is a failing grade for marriage. Wouldn't you like a chance to learn how to turn an "F" into an "A?"

Don't play the blame game! All relationships are 50-50. The more accountable you both are, the easier it will be to navigate through this difficult time.

To Schedule a Consultation, Please Call 310-593-4827

ADHD - ANXIETY - BIPOLAR - DEPRESSION - DIVORCE - HOUSE CALLS - INSOMNIA - OCD - SLEEPING PILLS - SEX

Home

Dr. Dave

Therapy

Couples

Addiction

Media

Contact

Resources