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"There is no single aspect of my practice that I find more rewarding than helping couples with communication skills. In a few hours I get to affect many lives- the couple and their children.

Family is so important, and when we have problems at home, they affect every aspect of our lives. It takes all the joy out of what we do and why we work so hard. Most of these problems are easy to solve, it just requires a different approach."

David Martorano, M.D.

It's easier than you think, but it's still hard! That's the truth about improving your marriage and having a healthy sex life. For most relationships it comes down to communication. Breakdowns in communication are the root cause of most problems couples face.

Do you feel like your spouse doesn't listen, isn't attracted to you, has changed since you met? How do you communicate your needs to him/her? How do you know that he/she is hearing and processing what you are asking him/her?

Couples therapy isn't a last ditch effort to save a failing relationship. It offers hope and change in the way both of you live your lives. Learning what "putting the other person first" really entails is a challenge. However, it can be among the most rewarding things you'll ever experience.

Imagine developing a dialogue where you and your spouse work to prove each other right instead of wrong. It's an essential part of succeeding as a couple, and a core element of intra-analytic couples therapy. You need to create an empathic environment where you and your partner can support one another rather than criticize or provoke to win an argument. Each of you has to feel heard and understood, and each must work to hear and understand the other.

Sex and Money = Intimacy and Power

It's what we fight about- sex or money, "she spends" or "he's unavailable physically," but it's never that simple. Couples fight about surface issues and have the same arguments for years, without resolution. Why? The real issue is never touched upon-we are really struggling to feel safe and establish trust.

When a husband complains about his wife's spending habits he may be feeling misunderstood. Her spending habits provoke his insecurties about being able to provide, and this can be very painful. As he learns to express the pain, she is able to reassure him, and in doing so, she begins to spend less, understanding that she can gain security in more meaningful ways. It's a win-win situation.

Sexual performance issues such as anorgasmia, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation are common challenges couples face. Many of these can be addressed with simple exercises that can be learned in a few sessions. Sometimes medications can be helpful, and this is where a medical doctor with specific training in sex therapy can be of great assistance. Knowing when to use medications and when to recommend the various exercises is a real challenge. Links to some practical sites can be found in the Resources section of this website.

To Schedule a Consulation Please Call 310-593-4827

Couples Therapy: Talking and Listening

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